Condom Day

February 14, 2013

Happy Condom Day!

Don’t be silly, protect your willy.

Don’t be a loner, cover up your boner.

If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

Especially in December, gift wrap your member.

Wrap it before you Tap it

Bag it before you tag it!

If you can’t shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket. No glove, No love.

While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis.

Happy Condom Day! I realize that Valentine’s Day is about love and flowers and hearts and mushy over-priced Hallmark sponsored cards. However, it should also be about being safe. Enough soapbox…here are some funny facts about condoms.

Condom design and manufacturing has made some impressive advances in the last hundred years, but the condom itself is far from a new invention. The oldest known claim to the use of condoms if actually part of a cave painting in Grotte des Combarrelles in France. The paintings in this cave are estimated to be between 12,000 and 15,000 years old!

Condoms have not always covered the full length of the penis. Prior to the 15 th century, men in China placed bits of oiled silk paper over their glans only, and men in Japan used tortoise-shell “caps.”

The first large-scale case of condom use was in the 16th Century. Gabriele Fallopio claimed that he invented a linen condom that was soaked in a chemical solution, allowed to dry, and tied on the penis with a ribbon. He tested his condom by having 1100 men wear them while having intercourse with women infected with the “French Disease”—that would be syphilis—and the testees claimed they did not contract the disease. We’re pretty sure this would violate modern standards of ethical experimentation…

Condoms have set multiple records, and there are some really interesting ones! Some of the records are: Most condoms pulled through the nose at once (3), longest condom chain (25,773 condoms tied together), largest condom mosaic (made using 685 condom packs), and of course the largest condom (72’ in length!).

During the execution of the musical, Cats, artists put microphones under the tights, but the artists sweat a lot during the show, condoms were used, such as creating waterproof microphones.

American soldiers use condoms for protecting rifle barrels from clogging or getting water in them while swimming to shore during World War II.

In the Middle East, condoms  were  used in many places, the peasants carry water in them, stretch them between layers of concrete to make the roof watertight, road workers throw them in vats of melting resin to give the pavement smoothness.

One woman fell overboard in the Caribbean sea from the cruise at night after few drinks, She helped herself with a box of condoms. By puffing them, she made herself a lifeline. Three days later, she was picked up by one of the passing boats.

In 2003, the Guilin Latex Company made the worlds largest condom. The condom was 260 feet – 80 meters- tall and 330 feet – 100 meters – around. It was put on a hotel in Guilin, China to help and promote World Population Day.In 2005 , the Obelisk of Buenos Aires, Argentina was covered with a large condom. It was 67meters long and created to promote World AIDS Day. No guy could complain about that condom being too tight.

In Germany they are called “Parisian” French – “English hood” in Italian – “glove” in Lebanon – “coat” in the United States, “Jimmy Hat” in South Africa – the “French letter”.

A condom, when expanded fully can hold around 3.8 litres of liquid. This explanation is given just to give you an idea of the reliability and durability of the condom.

Around 5 billion condoms are used every year worldwide.

Ancient Egyptians reportedly used condoms as early as 1350 BC. These were reportedly made from animal bladders or intestines.

Over the years, a variety of materials have been used as Condoms. Among the materials were linen, sheep, lamb and goat intestines; fish skin, silk and thin leather.

Talk about dressing for the evening.

Talk about dressing for the evening.

Be safe and have fun. And remember DO NOT put condoms in your wallet! The heat and friction destroys the latex.

Also watch this video, the best reason to wear a condom ever!

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